Shake it out
by Sammybaby16
Summary: Lena isn't your average child. She'll soon discover secrets about herself that people wanted to hide for the rest of forever. Can she battle the obstacles of finding out the truth, of love and of the expectations handed to her from ancient pureblood families.
1. Chapter 1

Running, that's all I could see myself doing. I was sitting in the department of mysteries, with a future time turner, one that if you spin it, it takes you into the future. Every spin was a year. I needed to escape and this was the safest bet. Escaping Tom Riddle was the safest way.

I spun the turner, taking me further and further into the future, I saw the room around me change. It stopped and I ran out the door as soon as possible. I would have looked like a strange sight; A pregnant lady running out of the ministry's most mysterious department. As soon as I reached the entrance to the building, I apparated out to somewhere that I might recognise.

I walked around the strange town, people were staring at me like I was coming from a 40's fair. It kind of seemed right that statement. I picked up a newspaper to see how far forward I had come. With thirty five years ahead, I was in the 80's era. I transformed my clothes to meet this new decade's fashion requirements and quickly headed into gringotts to state my claim on my own inheritance. Seeing as though I left a note saying I would come back in the future to make this claim, it wasn't so hard. With money and access to my own houses, I quickly set haste to brighton, where my family estate was.

I sat on the beach where my house overlooked and watched the muggles and their new behaviour. They seemed so outrageous, but I guess times changed while I was wizzing through the decades.

I started to feel extremely out of place very quickly. See that day was my seventeenth birthday. And on my seventeenth birthday, I was pregnant, in a different era to what I had grown up in with what would seem the strongest, wisest and feared in more ways than one, witches and wizards of their age. It astounded me that now as I lay my story across this page, I never once acknowledged the fact that I may have given birth to such history making children.

Looking back on that day, I never expected to see my ex-lover among muggles. Nor did I ever expect him to come after me. I had told him I was pregnant and he had gone round the bend. It seems he has spent the last twenty years trying to find me. He wasn't the same man I remember leaving, in our seventh year together.

"Esme, you haven't changed a bit… I think we need to talk don't you?"

"Tom, we needed to talk, six months ago, when I wasn't ready to pop… or is it twenty years ago for you?"

"Esmerelda look. I'm sorry that I can't be who you wanted me to be. I don't work that way."

"Look, do you remember what you said to me? The first night?"

He looked at me, he was hurting, but I couldn't seem to make out why.

"I know what I said, and I meant it, I still mean it, I just can't have kids; not now, not ever. My goal is just within reach. Remember what we talked about?"

I shook my head. Not because I didn't remember but because I didn't need to hear any more.

"why are you here Tom? If you're not here to try and get me back, why are you here?"

He looked at me, so hurt, he almost reminded me of a teenage boy, looked more like the boy that had his picture framed with Armando Dippet in the headmaster's office.

"I'm asking you to give up the children, and come be my queen. Like you said you would be, before that thing got in the way."

He had pointed at my stomach.

"Well Tom, now you're asking too much of me. I have spent the last 9 months carrying this child. Your twenty years, my nine months- they shouldn't go to waste. No parent should abandon their children. That's why you killed your father wasn't it? That's why you hate your mother. Wasn't it tom?"

I struggled to stand up. I looked him in the eyes. I could now feel his fury radiating off him. I knew then, that I said too much. I quickly waddled as fast as I could across the beach, while he was frozen in anger. I quickly apparated off to the first random suburb I could think of, that my mother had owned houses.

I found a town house in my name and quickly headed inside and applied all the spells that could possibly save me if Tom had ever found me. I was so stressed. I had never angered him to this proportion before. Not once.

I felt one contraction after another and I blacked out.

I woke up to see a kind woman looking down at me in pity. She held two children in her arms.

"The boy was born first, then his sister. Do they have names?"

"Zeke- for my father, Marvolo for his great grandfather and his last name is Hawthane. She is Valkyrie for my Aunt, Selena for my mother, Amelia for my grandmother and her last name is Hawthane."

"They are truly beautiful."

"Th-thank you very much. Can I hold them?"

The woman handed them to me, and I threw a sort of look that looks like it was an apologetic look, I apparated away. I needed to hide these children. I stumbled across an orphanage. I left Zeke there with a note.  
_Raise the child as your own, please. Give him a home that I never could. _

It hurt me so much that I had to leave him there. I gave one last look and apparated off again, with a sleeping Valkyrie in my arms.

We arrived in a little place and I was sitting there, looking over her, wondering where to put her too. Far away from England and Zeke so he couldn't find them.

"It's futile to run from me now Esme. I have you cornered with my knights. Hand the child over to me, and I'll spare your life."

"It isn't my life I am worried about Tom. I am merely worried about this young girl's life which has only just begun."

"I won't kill her. I have plans for her."

"You can't hurt me Tom. I'm too powerful for your knights. My shield will block you."

He smirked at me, and all the knights laughed.

"But using it so much will drain your energy, and who will save the little princess then. Just give her to me now and all would be forgiven."

I lowered my head over Valkyrie and whispered in her ear.

"I love you Valkyrie. I won't ever let anything bad happen to you. Know that mummy loves you and she prays for you every day. And that- I never intended on him finding you."

I raised my head, eyes shining defiantly.

"Fine, take her. But if you or your precious knights hurt her, you will not live to see the tale."

"Don't worry, she'll have a nice home, be raised a pureblood that she is, marry a pureblood. Be supportive of my master plan."

I shuddered at the life he set for her. I walked over and placed Valkyrie at his feet, knowing he wouldn't even acknowledge the child as his.

"Narcissa, take this child. You will raise her. GO! NOW!"

The black robed person took the baby and looked at me before disapparating.

"Now, join us or die."

"I choose neither."

With my sentence, I had pushed through their circle and disapparated to a small house, in the middle of London, so that no one could find me and with the help of my protection charms, that was possible. That night I cried myself to sleep, thinking of what they could possibly do to Valkyrie, the child that I didn't protect.


	2. Chapter 2

As I watched the sun rise on the day, I had a sick feeling in my stomach. Sitting on the window ledge, staring out the window, didn't seem to calm my nauseous stomach. It had been almost a month since my mother and father came for me. They had found out about my relationship with my newly ex-girlfriend Crystal. Like shadows in the night, they came back to take me away. 'To save me from myself,' they said. Their blackmail is effective when my friends' lives were at stake.

Now I am stuck here, in this damn manor, and if I try to leave, people lose their lives. I really didn't want lost lives on my conscious for the rest of my life because I couldn't tough it out here with my family.

I got down from the ledge and went for a shower, hoping I could drown myself in the shower, drown my problems and sorrow. I knew that wasn't possible and I had to keep going.

After my shower I headed downstairs. I stopped to look in the mirror quickly. My jet black hair was loosely put up into a pony tail, showing off the pentagram I had tattooed on my neck. My face looked pale, or even more so than usual because usually I am just pale. My eyes seemed darker now than they ever were before. I was like a ghost in comparison to what I used to be. This was the first time since I had been here since, that I had left my room; which meant I got one meal a day. This almost always happened and was going to unless I came down for meals. Which today, hunger had gotten the better of me.

I walked into the kitchen, to find my 'family' around their breakfast table. Breakfast was held in the kitchen, as was lunch but dinner always happened in the dining room. As soon as I walked in, my mother had noticed.

"Selena dear, come in. there's plenty of food here for you. Today I'm going into Diagon Alley. It seems you need some new dresses. For the balls held this year and of course, your birthday ball tonight."

My mother spoke like she was believing that I had just miraculously changed my mind about their lifestyle and choices. It made my skin crawl. I nodded to show that I heard what she said. I didn't budge from the doorway though. My father's voice was next to break the silence I wanted so badly.

"Now to prove that you're not going to go running back to your filthy fucked up friends, you little blood traitor, we have spells around the manor so you can't escape."

I looked at Lucius in disgust, but again, I bit my tongue and once again nodded my understanding of his statement.

"Oh the itsy little blood traitor brat has lost her tongue. You better find it girl or there _will_ be hell to pay."

I sighed at aunt Bellatrix's words and sat at the end of the table, so that, they could all look at me but they couldn't touch me. I barely sat down before I was ordered to sit between Draco and Melinda- my younger sister and Draco's twin sister. I could feel a smirk fall upon his face and feel the pity radiating off Melinda. I started eating the bacon that appeared on my plate.

"Now while you are eating, I would like to discuss or actually, remind you of the conditions of your little slut being able to live."

"Yes _father_."

"Don't give me that attitude young lady. Now- there is the list of these on your desk-"

I remembered it; I looked at it twice a day at least.

"I wanted to make sure you heard them. Have them fresh in your mind."

He paused. I waited for him to continue on his dramatic rant which I felt was coming.

"One- you will not see that little slut again. What was her name? Crystal Lennox?"

I brushed my scrambled eggs across the plate, bored and regretting the decision to come down for more food.

"Two- you will act as a part of this family again, so that is, you will attend all meals together and other family activities that doesn't involve leaving the house."

I briefly nod my head, wishing that this would end soon enough.

"Three- you will find a respectable pureblood to date, if you so choose to date; preferably from Slytherin house."

I scoffed at the idea of wanting to date. I still loved Crystal.

"Four- you will come home for all holidays and stay home all holidays. No friends' houses, nothing."

I snickered under my breath. As if i would have friends now anyway. I wouldn't be allowed to keep them now.

"Five- you will make new friends- respectable friends. None of this 'friends with the golden trio' shit. Got it?"

I knew it. I wondered if I got to keep Arabella. I mean she was a respectable pureblood.

"Six- Any contact with the golden trio or any of their weird associates outside of the school, and you my dear will be the one to end your dear little slut's life. Do you understand me?"

I closed my eyes to gather enough strength to talk. His rules made me ache with sorrow at the loss of my friends.

"Yes _father._"

"Enough of the damn sarcasm bullshit. I am your father and there is nothing you can do about that, so cut the shit. If you don't respect me enough to hold back the shit, call me sir."

I smirked at his loss of control.

"Yes Sir."

"oh and if you break any of the rules previous to number six, the consequence are-"

His little dramatic pause made my heart race in fear, which led my mind wonder about what he could possibly do to hurt me further.

"- my personal favourite."

I swore my heart stop and I my body ran cold. I knew then , I couldn't stretch these rules. I couldn't break them because the punishment was extreme. I had never thought he would go that far again.

My mother slipped me a catalogue for the dresses. I wanted to cry at the statement he just made, but I didn't. Weakness here was punishable. No one showed weakness, especially in front of Aunt Bellatrix.

"Pick your dresses. I believe you have a yule ball and a Beltane ball, and your birthday."

I reluctantly flipped through the pages. I had found a black asymmetrical dress, the sleeve was long, no sleeve one side and it came up to the knees, or right above them I should say. I also found my birthday ball gown. Black, floor length dress, no sleeves or straps and had emeralds embroided onto half of the top half of the dress. It suited the requirements well. The dress had to be made in the house colours of your child. I would be a Slytherin so green, black and silver. I circled that one and continued to find another red dress for beltaine. Women dressed in red, men in white. It was a weird representation thing.

After breakfast, Mother had gone off to the alley, and I headed back upstairs. I walked into my room to see a waiting Draco, sitting on my desk. I sighed and closed the door behind me.

"Draco, what do you want? I'm not in the mood to deal with you shit right now."

"Why so cold sister? Melinda isn't this cold, why should you?"

"Because _brother _ I don't really want to deal with you, especially after breakfast."

"Ah, you don't want to see me because you detest your family so much. Fuck- what did that Scarhead do to you? Brainwash you or something?"

"No, I'm pretty sure this family can make me hate you all on your own."

"I guess you really did turn blood traitor. No doubts about it. I guess it happened when you screwed Potter."

"I did not screw Potter, Draco! You are only covering up the fact that YOU are."

"As if bitch. Now, I need help with an assignment. Father said you had to help."

He handed me his OWLs assignment that he was given for holiday homework.

"Do it, and make it sound like me or I'll tell father and we don't want that do we?"

He had a creepy little smirk on his face and I cringed, turning away from him.

"Fine, just leave it on the desk."

"That's a good little blood traitor. Oh- if I fail it, there will be hell to pay."

With that, he strutted out of my room with a smirk as I glared at him. I seriously didn't want to cause trouble for myself already


	3. Chapter 3

Staring at the assignment Draco had given me and then looking at the clock, I felt incredibly tired. It was only 8 am. I had forgotten that this dratted family got up at god hours of the morning to start their day. There was at least 12 hours until my birthday ball started, which meant I could take that nap that I really wanted right now. I let my head rest on my arms and slowly nodded off to sleep.

_~Dream~_

_I was having a lesson. Father wanted me to learn to be a good wife early so I could be a good daughter too. Today's lesson was following orders. Women have to follow their husband's orders, no matter how unreasonable they are. Father wanted me to make lunch with mother today, to prove his lesson point._

"_I want noodles. I want them well drained, with salt."_

_I nodded and went to turn away before I realised._

"_Sir, you didn't pick a flavour of noodles. What would you like?"_

"_You should already know! Go! Make them now!"_

_I jumped a little at his aggressive tone. I quickly started helping mummy with the noodles when I got into the kitchen._

_When they were done, I brought them out to father. He took one bite then flung the noodles at me. I flinched._

"_I hate this damn flavour, why the hell did you bring it to me. Make me another bowl. NOW!"_

_I scurried away back to the kitchen. I had learned by now, not to cry. 'Crying is a weakness,' Father said. 'No Malfoy was weak,' he said. _

_Soon the noodles were ready. I took them out again. The house elf was already cleaning up the last mess._

"_Father, I brought you another bowl."_

_He snatched the bowl out of my hands and I took a few steps back, while he took another bite. He spat it out this time and grimaced. _

"_Useless fucking child."_

_He threw the bowl at me and the noodles scattered all over me, while the bowl had hit me in the stomach. I started to tear up and I raced out of the room. I had hidden upstairs in one of the rooms that no one uses- a guest room. There was a lot of them in the manor. I hid, hoping he'd forget about me and forget about punishing me or maybe just give up trying to find me. But he didn't. My father had found me. He locked the door, muttered a spell at the door and pointed his want at me. _

"_You will learn not to cry. You will learn to handle little mistakes men make- like losing their temper at you AND you will learn how to please them. If it is the last thing I do, I will do it."_

_I expected pain, the pain I usually get for failing a lesson. But no. this time, I felt myself bending over the bed, when my mind said stay hidden. Then when my body wanted to move, it couldn't. I think it was another spell. Then came the surge of crippling pain. I couldn't scream, couldn't move away from the source of the pain. I didn't know what it was, but the pain wasn't coming to me like dipping your hand into hot water, it was coming from me. Coming from inside of me. I had felt too full, like there was something that wasn't supposed to be there. The feeling would come and go, and the pain increased every time the full feeling came again. The breaks between the pain felt shorter and shorter until suddenly, I felt warmth. It was very much unappealing, the warmth, which made me feel uneasy, but it soothed the throbbing all the same. Hands on my back, bare thighs, resting between mine I soon realised that father had caused those feeling; The feeling of hurting, the sudden feeling of loss and the feeling of illness in the pit of my stomach. Father unfroze me and all the feelings became too much and I began to sob silently._

"_Maybe next time you won't displease me."_

_He walked out leaving me to clean up the mess and left me feeling bare and feeling way too exposed. _

_~End dream~_

I woke up sobbing. I remembered that day. It was only a few days past my eighth birthday. That day was the day I started to hate my own father. I knew it wasn't natural when I confided in my best friend Arabella. She said her step-father never did that, and her real father loved her too much to lay a hand on her. I remember the day I had met Arabella Black. It was at a family reunion which only the respected family members could attend. Ara's mother was of course on of the precious pureblood families, true to their blood.

_~Flashback~_

_I was five years old when I met her. We were at a park, in our wizard village. All our family was here. There was a lot considering I was only a little girl. To me there were a lot of people. I would soon come to know that the pureblood numbers were dwindling. _

_I hid behind my mother, holding onto her dress, and under her robe. She looked down at me and smiled as Melinda copied me. I was only five, and Melinda was three. Draco was standing behind Lucius, standing at his full height. Ara's mother Emily came up to my mother and kissed her cheek. Mamma said Emily was one of her high school best friends. Emily had a daughter that was just a year younger than me hiding behind her legs. She was real pretty- and almost passed as Melinda's older sibling. Arabella had long dirty blonde hair, grey eyes and seemed pale enough. She seemed so shy. I moved out from behind mamma and over to Arabella and Emily and held out my hand. _

"_Hello. My name is Selena. It's nice to meet you."_

_Arabella looked at my hand in curiosity. I figured out that she didn't know what I was doing._

"_Oh, you're meant to tell me your own name. And then shake my hand. Mamma says that's what you do when you meet new people. I don't know why though."_

_She giggled and grabbed my hand and swung it around. _

"_My name is Arabella Thompson-Black."_

_I looked up at my mother. She nodded. With that nod, I knew I could be friends with her. _

"_Did you want to go play on the playground with me?"_

_Arabella nodded and we headed off to go play. The whole day we were inseparable and have been ever since._

_~End flash back~_

I smiled faintly, recalling that memory. I ran away from home when I was 12 and I had followed Ara wherever she went. We usually stayed at Ron's or her mother's house. Her mother wasn't so happy that I had run away but she never told me to go back. I think she was keeping tabs on me anyway.

There was a knock on my door and I turned around in my desk.

"You might as well come in."

In walked my mother with all my dresses I had asked for. She quietly placed them on the bed and looked at me.

"You have 5 hours. You might want to start getting ready. You don't want to be looking like that for your birthday."

I sighed. My birthdays never ended well or started well either.

_~Flashback~_

_It was my tenth birthday and of course I had a lesson earlier that morning, in which of course I had failed. There were bruises across my face, neck and arms. I wanted to cry at the reflection the mirror was showing. It didn't even look like me anyway; just a battered little girl. _

_I sat with my back to the mirror, unable to stare at that sad little girl. After a while, a knock came at my door, then my mother graces me with her presence and Melinda who's tailing her, with her hair magically levitating. _

"_your father told me you were playing hide and go seek with Draco this morning while Melinda and I went shopping for her dress, since she ripped the pink one. You ended up wrestling and you fell down a flight of stairs. Are you okay?"_

_I looked up at her teary-eyed._

"_It hurts mummy."_

"_I know dear. Here-"_

_She handed me a vial of something as well as tapped my mirror with her wand._

"_Drink this and the pain will go away then place your hand on the mirror."_

_I quickly skulled what was in the vial and the pain evaporated. I looked in the mirror and saw a little girl, who looked just like me but she was radiant. She had no bruises, her skin was pale but it didn't seem like it would break at the slightest touch. I smiled softly and touched the mirror as instructed. The feeling felt weird, like a crash of water breaking over me in the bath. I looked at my mom as she held up a normal mirror. I looked like that girl in the mirror, before I touched it. _

"_That little girl was you, who you are inside Lena."_

_~End flashback~ _

That day was terrible right through. It really was.

"Right, I'll get ready. I'll be on the stairs at seven p.m. exactly so don't worry mother. Don't worry."

Mother left the room quickly as possible and I looked at the dresses. They were exactly how I ordered them. I picked up the birthday ball dress and placed it on. I grabbed the high heels that went with it and slipped them on. I hadn't walked in high heels since I was 12, I was a tad rusty. I grabbed my wand and pointed at the mirror. I didn't want people looking at me like this. So broken down.


End file.
